Friday, October 19, 2012

Changing

Donald Miller said that the seasons remind that we must keep changing; that that is God's way.

 I immersed in a few of his books in 2010.......I remember always sighing as I read,  feeling  a longing to soak fully in the words on the pages and the ideas. 
 He says that life is a living cast with a billion beautiful characters and it's almost over for you and for me.  He continues saying that it doesn't matter how old you are; it is coming to a close quickly....your roll in this script. Soon the credits will roll and all of your friends will fold out of your funeral and drive to their homes in cold and still silence.  That sounds a bit morose, but when I read it the first time, it was sort of riveting because I, of course, was and am still living, playing my part and the words lead me to think about my life and the limited lines that are mine to give.

I have a limited amount of lines.

  I have a limited amount of, "I love you's" and "How can I help you's" and "I'm sorry's".  I can only smile a limited amount of smiles and bandage a few boo-boos, help resolve a few more disputes, pray prayers, fall to sleep a few more times.  It is all limited by the amount of already decided days that I will occupy within my human frame and it is yet moving along all around me, even  as I type the play moves on.

 It's moving along like a slow moving stream........

 We were on a short vacation just before school was to begin that year in 2010 and as I sat near a slow moving creek where our boys were fishing, I read Donald Miller and I wrote a note to myself.  I encouraged myself to try and live "present"...to try and live engaged and present and on purpose for all of my days.  "Keep trying, Rhonda......keep working to be more patient, more supportive, more helpful, more nurturing....more alive and more here.....try, try.  And try not to take for granted; try to be present in your precious moments." 

It is two years since and now summer has changed to autumn and I felt it so clearly, maybe because I was changing too.....  like the seasons; by the hand of the King, falling backwards into the languid stream of  amazing grace, only being carried by it, not by my mad rowing....not my trying at all.
 Changing not by trying, but by yielding like the season, to the author's hand of change.  Not growing up, taking hold, figuring it all out, and working so hard, but by letting loose, becoming more like a child, more dependent, more willing.  

The seasons remind that we must keep changing, he says.

4 comments:

  1. Thanks for visiting my corner of the blog world and for your sweet comment. Sometimes I have so many swirling feelings I have to get them out in words.. to calm the swirling... :-) I think your blog may be my newest fav to read... b/c now you are sharing about Donald Miller... and he is directly linked to us answering the "yes" to adopt. This is my old blog but I felt led to share because I totally get what you mean in this post... talk about writing what another thinks!! http://rugbana.xanga.com/757893651/what-is-your-story/

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  2. being present...sometimes I need to work harder at that. So much of life seems to be on my shoulders each day that I forget to sit at His feet. I am busy, busy, but not soaking as much as I would like (with the ones with skin on and of course with Him.

    Kimmie
    mama to 8
    one homemade and 7 adopted

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  3. Kimmie, more challenging for me too in the middle of the first semester of school. There is so much work, yet so much more on your plate than on mine with your nest so beautifully full of sweet children to teach. I think I know that you are in constant fellowship with HIM, yet you long for more quiet time to pray........at least this is my imaginings when I think of you. ♥ You are in the field doing the work He has for you everyday. What a blessing you are.

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  4. Tessy-- Thank God for your "swirling" feelings and your willingness to capture them in words. :) I LOVED your page and Donald Miller's words there. Going to keep visiting you. Thank you for sharing that with me. Great things there. So much I related to.

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Thanks for sharing a minute or two with me. Your comments are much appreciated.