Wednesday, October 10, 2012

My Expectations vs. Expecting His Goodness

Life’s biggest kill joy is expectations.”-- Ann Voskamp

I wrote to my friend today lamenting my inability to do anything to move forward with plans and dreams around here.  Not my own plans, not my own dreams, but dreams I attribute to the Dream Maker, that perfect Dream Giver.  I told of how vulnerable I feel, how crazy I will seem to me if my dreams sit in limbo, only sharing the space in my heart with my doubts  and never making their sweet appearance into light.

I told her I was "adjusting my expectations".  And now a few hours later I'm still wrestling with my  heart, wrestling  like some giant crock slid in, grabbed hold and started a death roll.....me spinning round his twisting.  I suppose it's o.k. to let them die; the expectations that is, those that say that  my journey should look like your journey, hers, or so many others that I see.  It is so very easy to set my eyes on others- to derive my expectations out of  the way that their story goes and of their God-tales, forgetting that the most awesome,  joyous life  that we each can live is the one that is uniquely ours.

I must wrestle out this truth from the rest and hang on to it;  I can expect that all of His plans for me and you are good no matter how long you wait, no matter how unsure you become.   And trials are not the equal of failure and even failures are used for our good in His great kingdom. 

 There is just so much of "me" still living inside this human frame. So much spiritual muscle that needs developing.

Many times life’s biggest kill joy is expectations---true, true
Until we turn our expectations toward His good heart and always believe in it....even if we must wrestle through to believe.  

These verses came my way  yesterday and then again this morning on a facebook post.  This is real life business.  How to stand your ground.

13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place,

15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.

16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.

17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.


5 comments:

  1. My dearest Rhonda... how is it I did not know you had a blog. Can't blame you for obviously it is my lack of attention that kept this fact from me. I just read this one and a few of your previous posts. Loved the one about the fire and what you considered of value in the seconds before you left the house. I've added this to my favorites and will come hear.. ops, here regualrly... regulurly..??? aahhh once a day at least. Love You, Your Brother

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  2. Hey my friend! and brother!....awesome seeing your here as well. I kept this little blog as a private matter until I felt the Lord saying to hit the publish button awhile back. Yes, come and visit here, at least until I bore you to sleep in your easy chair. Then set yourself free. lol :)

    Rhonda

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  3. Yes, He is writing our story. We get to only read the page we are on. Sometimes He is His goodness allows us to peak a page or two ahead, but usually it is only this moment we get to embrace fully.

    Yield to Him. Bend to His touch and allow Him to shape your story into the shape it was intended to take.

    your words flow beautifully. thank you for sharing them with me.

    Kimmie
    mama to 8
    one homemade and 7 adopted

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  4. Hi there - just spending a leisurely morning reading adoption blogs and came across yours... first of all and I know this is random but fainting goats are so cool. I will never forget the first time I ever saw them when I was a kid. Anyhoo, I instantly felt connected due to your Jeremiah verse and your Voskamp quote and thoughts on dealing with expectations. I am currently re-reading One Thousand Gifts as it is a book to soak in....so much truth to swallow.

    We brought our son home from the DRC in Jan of this year... so yes I feel the spiritual muscle continuing to be stretched as I struggle to yield, trust, follow.... and let go.... Keep writing and Keep trusting....

    Tessy from Divine Moments
    http://divinemomentstlf.blogspot.com/

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  5. Tessy, Thank you for spending some time and words with me. I'm tucking your blogspot address away for a peak in later today. It was so good to read your words......it is mysteriously wonderful to see families on the other side of the adoption story with their new little ones at home now. It would seem like an impossible dream if it weren't for feeling that God is writing this chapter and with Him nothing is impossible.

    ♥We are feeling lead to Congo as well.

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Thanks for sharing a minute or two with me. Your comments are much appreciated.