I wrote to my friend today lamenting my inability to do anything to move forward with plans and dreams around here. Not my own plans, not my own dreams, but dreams I attribute to the Dream Maker, that perfect Dream Giver. I told of how vulnerable I feel, how crazy I will seem to me if my dreams sit in limbo, only sharing the space in my heart with my doubts and never making their sweet appearance into light.
I told her I was "adjusting my expectations". And now a few hours later I'm still wrestling with my heart, wrestling like some giant crock slid in, grabbed hold and started a death roll.....me spinning round his twisting. I suppose it's o.k. to let them die; the expectations that is, those that say that my journey should look like your journey, hers, or so many others that I see. It is so very easy to set my eyes on others- to derive my expectations out of the way that their story goes and of their God-tales, forgetting that the most awesome, joyous life that we each can live is the one that is uniquely ours.
I must wrestle out this truth from the rest and hang on to it; I can expect that all of His plans for me and you are good no matter how long you wait, no matter how unsure you become. And trials are not the equal of failure and even failures are used for our good in His great kingdom.
There is just so much of "me" still living inside this human frame. So much spiritual muscle that needs developing.
Many times life’s biggest kill joy is expectations---true, true
Until we turn our expectations toward His good heart and always believe in it....even if we must wrestle through to believe.
These verses came my way yesterday and then again this morning on a facebook post. This is real life business. How to stand your ground.
13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.
14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place,
15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.
16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.