These Gifts, This Maker

created by Michelle Xiao

I look at this painting and sigh.   A blank canvas lay on a shelf somewhere until.........And then brushes were assigned by steady, skillful hands, colors spilled out and settle,  then all is still when  first touch of paint smears canvas.

Magical.

The day he was born was too.  I lay awake wondering if the pains were real labor, were those that ushered babies into air and light.   And when I saw him in that climax and the trauma fell away like a heaving wave falling into mist, I collided with the unearthly, the indescribable, and the miraculous.  And we, suspended in awestruck wondering, were incapable of understanding how our regular, clumsy, reckless living could have ushered in this designed perfection.

 A perfect child......and I/we had done this....yet not, but only willing participants in this glorious design set in motion before I was.  Who formed the lungs that pull life in from the air, highlighted each strand of chocolatey hair, sketched sinew to bone, decided the heart's rhythms inside of me?  Never could I even  attempt what God flings forth in just a breath.  Yet, we created with our Creator...and because of Him.

 For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
^{......................................................
16} Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed

And I stand amazed that the greatest thing that I've accomplished this far is the one thing that I had so little to do with.     In only "being" and then availing myself, this miracle was set in motion, and me along for the ride.

 ¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.

And I blush at the thought that it would be harder for me to render the painting above than to co- create ( To create together) this child with God!    And there lying sneakily in that truth is another; our most pivotal moments are those born out of a surrender;   the birth of a son, our own birth,  death, our birth into the Kingdom. 

Our first son, Ty --and Dad

And going beyond this idea, what compels us from deep within are  these gifts given in darkness (Romans 12:4-8) set just inside flesh and blood, those which express unique humanity, and a part of a larger body of glory;  the body of Christ himself.........And how explosively powerful this is, and yet how easy in surrender.   And the blasts of "us" can be felt for generations.  

Yes, the painter paints, and this is easy for her........she is gifted, brilliant,  and she can't help but express the uniqueness that is beautifully hers alone. The teacher builds bridges of knowledge as she also builds up the Kingdom, the drummer lays the foundation of song leading the saints in praise, the gardener paints in flower and foliage urging worship to God.  These gifts given  in darkness, they long to be brought into light.  And when they shine in sweet display, they remind of the skillful One who worked in secret. 

 When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.

  I knew a man who worked with iron and earth. And when he had finished a job, he would  drive us to the job site to see a yard  expertly sculpted, or a new pond with molded earth ring around,  a new winding road made from shale.  In his heart was kindness, mercy, and a heart that gave extra and charged less.   And when death visited our town, he would kindly dig a perfect grave and always for free.   He seemed to see himself a simple man, felt uneducated according to the standards of today,  but this idea was sorely lacking.  And in his work was his transformation;  out of this simple fellow would emerge a "hero" who felt he could do anything and against any odd in his field of work.   And when he died a whole town mourned for him and at his funeral a slip of paper was passed to me from a lady who knew him for the man he was and the work he did (his creating).  On the slip was his obituary and at the top she had penned her description of him;   it read,  "A God Man".  I  wept at the three words as I sat in the shadow of his casket,  and at this "simple" man who rallied such words and such love.  His death ushered a perfect conclusion, one that spoke of one great name, "Creator". It shouted "God" without a word--- and for all to hear.  

Ms. Angie's words

And someone heard.

Always being our hero on his backhoe

Elijah wanted to be like Papaw at 3 years old, and still does at 14.


And I sit imagining about Him; the extravagant, marvelous, lavish Maker.  And for days wondering who I am in relation to Him and what His gifts in me and you mean in relation to our world; what a complete surrender of all of them would mean.  And it seems  something like the heaving wave falling into mist. 

  And knowing that He, indescribably wonderful---He imagined me and imagined you.  And not stopping there, He, at a specific time in history, at a special time of year, and a designated time of day or night, unveiled some of what He'd done in secret.  Unveiled at our birth the secret work of the womb.  And as we surrender to His plan for us and surrender the gifts residing, I wonder if we too will shout His name in the end?  Shout of His greatness, speak of His love that stretches into the forever.

And we were meant to bless Him with all that is inside of us......those gifts implanted by the Almighty.  And
 as we live on-- the unveiling continues, showing that we are more than flesh and blood.  And who we are is easy to be, if we only we will surrender.  And we can shout his name in the end.

 You covered us in our mother's womb ...................
...and skillfully wrought us

 And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them.
(Excerpts from Psalms 139)

What He Really Needs

He said, "I need a Chinese water stone", used to sharpen the blades of knifes, scissors, hedge clippers, machetes,  and axes, etc.  Why a boy of 11 needs to sharpen all of these things remains a mystery to me.  Do we even own a machete?  

He said, "I almost have enough money saved to buy an ax."  I wonder what does a boy this size do with an ax?  He says, "I will cut down trees that I can use for stuff". Since there is no ax here (yet) he and his brother have gone out to saw down a small tree for bow making.

Last week he said he needed a roll of black string; he was making a net to trap animals with (we buy our meat from the store!).  He needed a piece of wood.  He was making a net making tool.  Always he needs new and curious things to work out what he's been working on within. 

net making tool and card

He's just this little boy with a big hat and bigger thirst for bringing his imagination to reality every day.

I felt Him nudge me as I thought of my son; nudged about imagination and the way in which I use mine, or don't.  I've never liked it much....didn't have many  little girl dreams,  didn't "get" the dreamers of this world, didn't read fiction ( a waste of time, I thought)   A teacher once coined it, "The Theater of Your Mind".   When my son's imagination engages, I can only imagine that he is the greatest hunter ever beheld; trapping wild game, shooting the 12 point buck, trapping the craftiest bobcat, raccoon, and possum, catching the leviathan of fish. Only occasionally does he have to scale back his assault when he inadvertently snags a goat by the hoof, or the biggest catch of all, the day he caught his father while he brush hogged the pine thicket.  Quickly a request was made to remove all high hanging snares that could possibly endanger inadvertent human prey.  (Dad was able to stop the tractor in time to save his hand).  There is no hiding what exploits he's dreaming of  as it all spills out around here in visible heaps.  

A couple of years accumulated Christmas gift--live traps

 So the idea that HE would like ME (and maybe You too) to dream and imagine is new and bewildering--- and not just a little exciting.  And I have been doing it....doing the work of a dreamer, blowing the dust off of the imagination station and seeing big things.  

When I was very small I had one memorable dream...I imagined having a pony of my own.  When I was 39 years old a woman from out east called to inquire on purchasing sheep from our farm.  In the course of the conversations, she, a Christian, felt lead of God to give me a gift.  She sent a photograph .

Why would a complete stranger want to give such a gift?  It had been more than 35 years since I had dreamed the dream of having one.........and I didn't ask for a registered Welsh pony of such quality.  I only  wanted a pony. 

I tried to trade the woman, my sheep for this animal, but she would not have it.  She said a gift is not paid for, it is given.  In the end, she purchased our sheep and delivered this beautiful pony to our farm.  I don't ride him, yet I enjoy his presence like no other animal I've ever had.  I hug him, I brush him, I watch him run with this glory that is unearthly.   I imagined and He supplied.  

So, these days of imagining and day dreaming, I'm asking Him to supply even the dreams and let me see in my  mind's eye what He has for me .  I'm asking that He won't let me shrink down His plans, not dowse His flames, not limit Him and me.   And I think that what He is working within will have their day, will have their moment in the sun like my son's secret thoughts revealed in real time and real life.  Never had it occurred to me to ask the Almighty for imagination until the day He invited me to. 

And I made the statement at the start, "What He Really Needs" and I pause thinking.  Until right now, I'm not really sure.  Until now I didn't know that I needed it too.  He needs to stay there, right where he is.  Stay in the place where he broods over the well spring that his dreams flow up from, that place of wonder that is God's. 

And lastly, I will add that today we brought home an ax from the farmer's co-op.  He saved enough.  We chopped down a tree.  He is going to "use it for stuff".   And I am going to see where my imagination takes me as well.  ;)  Takes me away into His will.