Thursday, December 20, 2012

First World Problems Anthem






Here is a little "hero's tale" that I remembered while watching this video. I thought it might cheer you to know that everyday "heros" are among us doing what Jesus would do. If you watch to the end of the video you'll see that Water is Life is asking for donations to help dig wells for folks who do not have access to clean, safe water. 

So here is my tale:   One of our dearest friends had a serious medical issue this year and also lost his job. Yeah, I'm sure he and his wife could say, "I hate it when I loose half my income and almost loose my life!" While they were praying and seeking God about provision for their family of 5, someone gave them a very large sum of money.  "Bingo!" You  might be thinking, like I was, that a lot of money will last a long time.   A sum that could have potentially saw them through a significant portion of the year and given him time to rest and look for employment without a lot of stress from lack of funds.  But, our friend and his wife felt the Lord's heart for those without clean water and so they sent a  sizable portion of their own "miracle provision" to build a couple of wells in Eastern Europe.   I don't know if they gave through "Water is Life", but I do imagine that they saved lives with their decision.
  
In the spirit of the video and poking fun at some "first world problems" I share a couple of my own....so here goes:    I hate it when I want to put a book away and there is no room on the bookshelves for even one more book.  I have to lay the book horizontally on top of vertical books.  Ugh.

I hate it when I come home from the grocery store and I don't have enough cupboard space for all of the food that I bought-- and I can only buy 3 gallons of milk because 4 will just not fit in the refrigerator.   Arg!






Saturday, December 15, 2012

When a Child is Born, so is a Mother.

Twenty-one years of hands to work.  Twenty-one of the same;  the hidden and the glorious.  Hidden work inside walls decked with beloved faces,  grazing past brave works of art reaching for milk or cheese.  Blessed  years learning to patiently speak or not to speak at all, learning to respect the unspoken words, and reassure with special "glances".  

Twenty-one watching, awestruck gazing--offspring amazing, racing heart beating out love rhythms.   Twenty-one years watching new eyes unfolding his world of wonder.

Twenty-one years of gardening, washing, teaching, learning, bandaging, scolding, praising, buying, creating, repenting, cooking, budgeting, hosting, laughing, and crying. Twenty-one years of the same; twenty-one of loving.  

Years being all full and emptying all out.  Years cherished, unblemished, hands open, heart throbbing to be all of this.  

Twenty-one years looking into grey-blue eyes of glass;  trusting eyes, laughing eyes, innocent.  
Growing, learning, searching eyes, questioning, finding. Grey-blue eyes like glass, deep as cool well waters, eyes exquisite reflecting heart and reflecting soul. Twenty-one years adoring.

Twenty-one years thankful, and twenty-one blessed.   

                Happiest 21st birthday Josiah Tyler Drain 
                When a child is born, so is a mother.
 

Friday, December 14, 2012

Borrrowed Words on Faith

Taken from the devotional, Morning by Morning by C.H. Spurgeon. 

November 12

 Faith untried may be true faith, but it is sure to be little faith.  It is likely to remain stunted as long as it is without trials.  Faith never prospers so well as when all things are against her.  Tempests are her trainers, and lightnings are her illuminators When calm reigns on the sea, spread the sails as you will, the ship will not move to it's harbor.  But let the howling winds rush forth and rock the vessel  until her deck is washed with waves  and her mast sways under the pressure of the full and swelling sail.  It is then that she makes headway toward her desired haven.   No faith is so precious as that  which lives and triumphs in adversity.  

Faith increases in solidity, assurance, and intensity the more it is exercised with tribulation.  Faith is precious and it's trial is precious too. 




Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Being Angry

 Awhile back,  when the blackberries were turning inky and the grass was dry from drought,  I was angry, but I didn't tell.  Seems dreadful to be angry with God or to hear of someone accusing or scolding the Almighty, even though we know He is also our Father and friend.       Today I am joyful, and a joyful day is easy to share.   And when I found my angry words hidden in the drafted posts, I didn't clench my fists again in remembrance, but almost smiled because our Almighty, our Father and friend can reckon with the fussy heart of His own children (I'm only just learning this first hand), wisping away from our eyes the densest fog with a puff of his warm breath.  He can make us see clearly past the mist to understanding, can't He after all?


Here's what started it .  It was Ann again....preaching her gentle, wooing, stirring words. Ann said:
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   And if we want more Yes to God actions in our life — we need more Yes to God contemplations in our life. Yes to the blessings and yes to the ugly and yes to the beautiful and yes to the love and to His will and to the saving sovereignty of God in this moment who can’t stop serenading with His grace. In our dark, just to keep whispering our breathy, child-like yes.
In the Old Testament, the word “to will” is abah. “To will – to intend, to choose” — to decide your yes — abah. To make your will agree with God’s Will – that is how we say yes to God.
( Ann Voskamp)

And here is my tiny, angry reply to Ann's words.   Words written because my "yes" lately is  to His call to adoption and oh....... what a  roller coaster......... 
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I'm wondering why is "yes" like this?  How is a simple, childlike "yes" the cause of so much of my pain?  No, I may never publish this post because I am in pain and who wants to hear about such things?
Abah – “to will” – it literally means “to breathe after” or “to long for.”   And this is what I've said to myself......my heart is longing...my heart is aching and longing......my emotions get spent up with this longing.....frayed by this wanting of God's will (this "Yes" to God) and it hurts me to wait for it and wonder about what I think I've seen.

Remembering long ago, how I learned  not to question my Dad....He didn't want  to see my disappointment, anger, or resentment in reactions to some of his will for me.  It was really not allowed.   And to the end of his days,  it remained that way in my heart.   But what of my Father of heaven?  He sees whether I choose for Him to or not to....whether I blot out my tears before they can fall, whether I try to suppress the confusion and angst......He sees me......He hears my questions and feels my anger.  What must He think of me?......How will He respond to me?  And I fear his silence most,  and I fear the emptiness inside my head swarmed with questions that won't rest.  Empty of answers, but full with wondering.

Confused...angry....sad in a bigger sadness than has ever been......hurt in new ways.......longing w/out fulfilling....... angry

O.k., yeah.....angry......So?  Has this ever been hidden away from His sight?  No, and my anger has slowly shifted from Him..... to me.  I know He is all good.....I know this...I believe this.  I know that the person causing the pain has been me all along and for this I am sorrowful in pools of sadness.

 But, I asked him to burn me.  I asked Him to burn all that hasn't been built up and formed by His hands in me...... away.....I am angry at it all and I want it all consumed by the hottest God-fire and put to  an end.  The "me" that isn't in and of Him hurts me, confuses me, leads me to quicksand where I struggle and fight w/ tired limbs and tired heart to pull free of it. It would disable me completely, choke me, drown me, suspend me for eternity.  But, He wouldn't have it. 

 And I heard Him, I did.  I heard him again in the pine thicket  when I was going round and round in that worn out circular pilgrimage to God's lap.  And He said, "What did you come out to see?"  And again He said, "What did you come out to see?"  And I said that I came to see Him look into my eyes, and to square my shoulders with His hands, and to stand me on my feet and send me out into my unknown with angels surrounding me and encouraging me."  I said that I wanted Him to burn away all the pretending and creating  that I do to make my "imaginary friend God"......those creations made by someone who didn't have faith to hear the real voice of God when the situations are more challenging.  The one who feared that if she waited for Him, there would be the chill of silence and nothing more.
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This is where my angry post ended.  But God did not leave me there at all . ♥
  
So what I have found?  Say it to Him when you are angry, say it to Him if you are thrilled, say it to Him if you are sad.  What is outside of  His interest in you?  Nothing.
  He is able to handle all of our afflictions, all questions, all accusations, all willing to share the plethora  of  feelings and questions that we have.   And He is full of comfort for those times of angst and doubt.  

  What else?  God needs no help being God and Father.  (don't laugh at me too loudly--I might hear you)   I don't have to imagine what He might think or say....He is not imaginary or created by our ideas of Him..He is WHO HE IS...He does what He does. (smile!)  ..if He has something to say, He is able to let me know what it is.  Yes, I have experienced this many times over.      (reference:  John 10:27 My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me.) ♥♥ 
Imagining opening the gate to more God paths today. ♥

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Adventure from ...Anywhere

 When you tell Jesus, “I will go anywhere and do anything …” These altars where we commit our lives to God in this way are critical.  However, when we find ourselves having gone to that place called “anywhere” and we are living out what often seem to be mundane tasks, we must regard these as holy before the Lord. It is here where ALL the details of Christ’s character being formed in us are put upon the canvas in much smaller strokes. If we are not careful, we can find ourselves busily trying to paint a beautiful picture for God instead of aligning ourselves with the Spirit and allowing Him to take the brush and have His way. (from the Live-Dead Journal)

  
  .......all the details of His character formed in us..........what a lovely thought for a Sunday .